can we show a little discipline? Can we?

I'm going to get my hair dyed at 3 today. Pretty nervous bout it. Not total color but she said she was thinking platinum "planks" (I don't really understand what that is) which is quite a commitment I think. Blond hair. the last time I was blond I had very little eyebrow due to a plucking obsession and a much wider face. I have pictures..they make me laugh. I haven't dyed my hair for a very long time but I am looking for a change. I think that even if it looks dumb it will be good because then I will have another bad hairdo to look back upon and chuckle heartily at in the future. I can't help but think of life decisions as fodder for writing now. I won't go so far as to purposely do stupid things but 'm trying to not be so cautious.

I've been contemplating decisions and how no matter what we do life keeps going. If you are married for 30 years then one day up and decide to walk away from your family, you can. They will continue to live and so will you. Humans can get used to anything. The first day would be weird, the first year would be a hurtle but you won't really notice because you're are just living - this is your new life but it isn't new just different. Seems like things should be more jolting but days creep into nights and we just try to keep up.
Summer left Tulsa. She lives in New York. Lindsay stayed in Tulsa; her life continues.
If you don't do what you want, you still age. If you do and you fail, you keep living. If you do and you succeed other decisions will go wrong. You just have to do it because whether you do or not things keep on keepin on and no one is going to stop to tell you what you're missing out on. You probably won't even notice. Fleeting winces of regret will be the only evidence that something is missing.
Does this make sense? Is this thought obvious or redundant? Greeting card cheesy? I don't know but I need to remind myself sometimes that life is not like a movie or a book. Lives can end up horribly wrong and there is no lesson to be learned from them except do what you can and try not to waste so much time because no matter what you do with time it keeps moving and there is an end to this life that will come no matter what happens or what we do.
You are young for a while and people give you slack/time to do something but that's because it isn't their life. You know you should be doing something better but you use the youth card they gave you to fritter away time and be lazy or drunk or slow. Youth does not have a perforated line at the cut-off so it cannot be used as a reliable delineation of where you should be in life at any given time. I hate youth; it's an evasion. The only real excuse is lack of talent.

I believe that is all the rant I have in me today. I realize this post may look like I am condemning my entire generation but really..obviously..I'm talking to myself.